


Several Fuck-ups at Freddy's

by KoruChaos



Category: Five Nights at Freddy's
Genre: Animatronics have their own personalities, Anyway here's a new chapter, But I gave him a body because story, But I'm too lazy to do it right now, Canon Divergence, Classic Foxy is the worst, Eggs Benedict is not Michael Afton, HandUnit being an asshole, Hopefully the other ones get along better than these guys, I fuck over the in-game script for humor sometimes, I'll fix these tags someday, Male Marionette, Marionette is mute, Mike and Fritz are cousins, Nightmarrionne is a waste of air, Other, Phone Guy is awful, Phone Guy is here again, Puppeteer is technically a split personality of Marionette's, Purple Guy is not William Afton, Purple Guy isn't a horrible person, Spaghetti on the walls?, Springtrap and co. join the fray, The souls don't haunt the 'bots anymore, Toy Bonnie and Withered Bonnie are here now, Two versions of Ennard, What a cliffhanger! Dun dun DUNNNN, hope you don't mind, just kidding, like usual, they're both dicks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-09-14 21:03:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9203090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KoruChaos/pseuds/KoruChaos
Summary: Just a bunch of oneshots (for the most part, anyway).Not all of these will be happy.Teen rating is for lots of swearing and character deaths. If you are triggered by death, swearing, violence, and overall nastiness, you probably shouldn't read this.





	1. He Can't

**Author's Note:**

> Jamie reminisces about the horrible things that have happened to him, and obsesses over Phone Guy.
> 
> There was probably a better time for him to do this, considering he's about to die, but he doesn't care right now.

Well, this wasn't going well. He was scared, but not for the obvious reason-his impending death. No, he wanted that to happen.

He was scared of what the children thought of him. They really hadn't deserved to have gotten caught up in his selfish plan.

He could have saved them.

But he didn't.

He remembered why he had done it in the first place- he missed his family. His four-year-old brother, Vincent, who had died from a prank gone wrong; his other brother, Jackie, who couldn't handle the guilt and had hung himself not long after; and the stillborn sister he had never even seen.

He could have saved one of them.

But he hadn't.

He vaguely wondered why he hadn't just gotten everything over with earlier, before remembering that he hadn't wanted to hurt what little of his family remained.

His horrible plan had failed, and gotten someone else arrested. He must have hid his steps too well- which was stupid, considering he'd wanted to get caught. To be sent to Death Row. To see his siblings again.

He thought about the man who had started the company in the first place. He-Jason was his name, right? He couldn't remember anymore- had been so in control. He had made sure things went to plan. He had hardly reacted when his family had died.

Jamie wished he had that kind of control over himself.

But he didn't.

There they were. Standing in the doorway. He hoped they wouldn't hate him too much. He just smiled as he stepped into the rabbit-shaped death trap in the corner, the children staring at him in confusion. He wondered if they had imagined their revenge being more exciting than this.

They probably did, but here he was, laughing sadly as the springs dug into his skin.

He wanted to call out for help.

But he couldn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell I don't know what the hell I'm doing? Because I don't, and wrote this on a shitty phone.


	2. Say Your Last Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jason tries not to sound like an asshole just before he dies.
> 
> It's harder than it should be.

“Hello, hello? Hey! Hey, wow, day four. I knew you could do it.” What a way to start his final words to the world. Just as awkward as every other message. He was honestly surprised his voice hadn't cracked, just to add insult to injury.

“Uh, hey, listen, I may not be around to send you a message tomorrow.” Bang, bang, bang. He wished Foxy could just fuck off for a second.

“It's-It's been a bad night here for me. Um, I-I'm kinda glad that I recorded my messages for you”-he paused to clear his throat- “Uh, when I did.” He wondered how strange it would sound to someone listening to the message after he died. No one would believe it, obviously, but they might freak out anyway.

“Uh, hey, do me a favor.” Bang, bang, bang. _Oh, fuck off._ “Maybe sometime, uh, check inside those suits in the back room?” Bang, bang, bang. _God damn it, Foxy. Fucking stop._

“I'm gonna to try to hold out until someone checks. Maybe it won’t be so bad.” Bang, bang, bang. _You piece of shit! I'm already going to run out of power, stop rubbing it in my face._ “Uh, I-I-I-I always wondered what was in all those empty heads back there.” _Who am I kidding? I know exactly what's in them. I made the fucking things, after all._ There was the music box. He regretted programming that song into Freddy. He didn't even like the Toreador March.

“You know...” A groan. He suddenly hated that fucking bird. “Oh, no-” There was the golden bear. He wondered where the owners of the place had put the thing, since it didn't seem to have been in the back room.

There was a screech, and then everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like this one very much, but at least I was able to use my computer to write it this time.


	3. But That's Not My Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eggs Benedict goes to work for the first time, and HandUnit starts being a dick.
> 
> Things are still going a lot better than expected.

When he got out of his car, one of the first things he noticed was that the lights on the sign weren't working. _Huh. I thought they said they took care of the place. 'Spose they would probably need some time to reroute it or whatever it is you do to fix those, though._

As soon as he stepped into the elevator, a loud, clearly recorded (automated, maybe?), forcefully cheerful voice started speaking.

"Welcome to the first day of your exciting new career! Whether you were approached at a job fair, read our ad in Screws, Bolts, and Hairpins, or if this is the result of a dare, we welcome you."

_That's nice, I guess. But why would you talk about getting hired because of a dare unless it happened more than once?_

"I will be your personal guide to help you get started. I'm model five of the Handyman's Robotics and Unit Repair System, but you can call me Handunit. Your new career promises challenge, intrigue, and endless janitorial opportunities. Please enter your name as seen above the keypad. This cannot be changed later, so please be careful."

The name on the top of the keypad (which had googly eyes on it for some reason) was Mike, but that wasn't his name. _Shouldn't I just type my own name? I don't want to use a name that isn't mine..._

He tried to type in his name, but halfway through "Handunit" inturrupted. "It seems that you had some trouble with the keypad. I see what you were trying to type, and I will autocorrect it for you. One moment." BEEP. "Welcome, Eggs Benedict."

*But that's a breakfast thing, not my name. My name's Ca-* He tried to say, right as Handunit started talking again in that annoyingly loud voice of his. "You can now open the elevator using that bright, red, and obvious button. Let's get to work!"

*But my name isn't-* "Tough shit."

_This is going to be a long night, isn't it?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this one is a lot happier than the last two. Hopefully it's kinda funny.


	4. I Promise It's Just Sauce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marionette has no idea what he's doing, and Puppeteer decides to fuck everything up.
> 
> TL;DR, Marionette tried to cook something, Puppeteer might have killed someone, HandUnit found a dead coyote, and there is spaghetti everywhere. Jason gets really pissed off.   
> There is no actual story, and I wanted to write the aftermath.

"Why the fuck is there spaghetti on the lamp?" was the first phrase to come out of Jason's mouth that day. Normally, it probably would have been something along the lines of "Get the hell out of my workshop," but apparently today was different.

Puppeteer just pointed at Marionette, who looked about as worried as usual, which was to say, not at all. HandUnit was carrying something over his shoulders as he walked down the hallway.

"HandUnit, what is that, where did you find it, and what are you going to do with it?" Jason snarled. The response he got was "It's a dead coyote, I found it on the road, and I'm going to set it on fire." Nobody liked the sound of that, especially Marionette, who looked like he was about to cry.

Jason asked "And you thought that was a good idea _why,_ exactly?" at the same time as Puppeteer asked "Can I watch?" which earned Puppeteer a death glare.

HandUnit just laughed and kept walking down the hall.

Today was going to be a very, very bad day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell I'm really bored? Because I am.


	5. Replacements

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toy Bonnie decides to visit his older counterpart, and discovers that he's an apathetic foulmouth with better clothes than himself.
> 
> Things are still going better than he thought they were going to.

The first thing I see when I open the door is who I assume to be my predecessor. He's very... Different. That's the best word I can think of to describe him. First off, he's purple, and doesn't seem to have any markings. Second, he doesn't have any makeup- which isn't very surprising, considering the other Chica doesn't have any either. Third, he's got red eyes. Not really anything special there, but it's still freaky. Lastly, he's missing his arm and has bandages wrapped around his face. That's just kinda sad.

He was sitting down with his back against the wall and staring at the floor when I walked in, but now he's staring at me. His clothes are still pretty nice, despite everything else in the room being grimy and kind of damp. He's still just staring at me, and he's making eye contact. He's a lot scarier than I thought he would be.

The first thing he says to me is “If you're supposed to be my replacement, you sure as hell don't look like it.” I respond with “At least I'm not maimed,” before I can even register what I'm saying. He's just staring again, but he doesn't seem offended. I don't think anything could offend him, actually. I mumble out an apology anyways, and ask what his name is. “My name is Bonnibel. And you are?” he asks. “Bonsai. Isn't Bonnibel a girl's name?” is what I end up saying. I should try to filter what I say before saying it. Once again, he doesn't seem offended, but his response is kind of nasty anyway. “Yeah, but I'm also not named after a fucking tree.” I think his brain's programmed to be nasty even if he's feeling fine.

“We aren't going to get along, are we?” I ask. It's pretty much a given at this point.

“By the time we do, Satan will be ice-skating to work.”

Well, at least he has a sense of humor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, this idea's been to hell and back, but I'm going to do it anyways.  
> I'll probably do this with the other Withereds and Toys.  
> Also, I didn't use any italics in this chapter. It's a fucking miracle!


	6. Predecessors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Withered Bonnie meets his replacement, and discovers that he's a narcissist with no verbal filter.
> 
> Considering Withered Bonnie's personality, it's a miracle they hadn't killed each other at first sight.

When the door opens, I screw my eyes shut against the harsh light for a few seconds. As I open my eyes, the first thing I notice is that whomever is standing in the doorway is very, very blue, and has ears like mine. He's probably my replacement, but he doesn't really seem like it, other than the fact that he's a rabbit. We aren't even the same height.

He's about as short as the new Night Guard, but I'm tall. He has green eyes, I have red (though that might just be an homage to Benny). He wears makeup, I wear bandages. He's feminine, I'm masculine. We're practically opposites, at least from a physical standpoint. When I make eye contact with him, he shies away and looks anywhere other than me. It's pretty obvious that he's not going to talk first, so I state the obvious; “If you're supposed to be my replacement, you sure as hell don't look like it.”

His response is “At least I'm not maimed,” but I can tell he wouldn't have said that if he could think faster than he could talk, if the way he cringes at his own words and mumbles an apology is anything to go by. Even if he had meant it, I wouldn't have cared. I don't care about much anymore- the only thing I need to keep myself stable is Felix. He's looking at me rather strangely now. Apparently I was quiet for too long, so I tell him my name and ask what his is. Once again, he speaks before he thinks, and ends up saying “Bonsai. Isn't Bonnibel a girl's name?”

His face crumples up as soon as he says it, and I'm pretty sure he's internally screaming at himself. Once again, I really couldn't give less of a shit, but I suppose now is as good a time as any to remind him that he should try to filter what comes out of his mouth, so I respond with “Yeah, but I'm also not named after a fucking tree.”

He just looks at me for a few moments, seemingly unaware of why I was being so nasty, before saying “We aren't going to get along, are we?”

I just respond with “By the time we do, Satan will be ice-skating to work.”

He smirks slightly, before slamming the door shut.

I'm already glad he's gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like this one a lot better than the previous one, honestly.
> 
> I'll probably do Foxy and Mangle next.


	7. Built-in Blindfold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ballora has a chat with Ennard again.
> 
> She just wishes she could see him.

The first time Ballora was in the scooping room, she had been too scared to worry about anything except the large machine Ferdinand and Bon-Bon had told her about.

The second time, she was aware of being watched, and had been able to stay on just long enough after she had been hit with the whatever-it-was to realize that her eyes were suddenly open, and take a look around. There was a window with a human behind it, but she didn't think that was what had been watching her.

The third time, the human was too preoccupied with something to shut down her power supply as quickly as before. When she looked under the window, she noticed somebody made of metal tubes looking at her with bright blue eyes. By that point the human had finally realized that she'd been left on for too long, and shut her down.

The fourth time, the human had been about to use the scooper on her, but had been told by the mechanical voice that usually ran the facility that one of their superiors had asked for them, and had been left alone for about ten minutes. She had actually been able to have a conversation with what she guessed was an endoskeleton, and learned that his name was Ennard, his favorite colors were yellow and green, and that he had a sister. When the human had come back, Ennard had scrambled back to his hiding place under the window as fast as he could. This time her power had been shut off before she was scooped. She was very happy about that.

The fifth time, she had gone into the scooping room without being told to, and had snuck in so she could talk to Ennard again. She learned that his sister was actually Baby, and he had been decommissioned because the person who had payed their creator hadn't been very precise with his directions, and had neglected to tell their creator that he only wanted one male animatronic, and that is was supposed to be Ferdinand. He also told her that he didn't like Ferdinand, despite never having actually met him, but she couldn't really blame him for that. She probably wouldn't like him either, if she'd been in Ennard's shoes.

This time, she was going back of her own will again. She enjoyed talking to him, and he had a nice voice. “Hello?” she asked quietly. “Are you still here?” There was a small laugh from the corner of the room, and he responded with “Have I ever left?” “No, I suppose you probably haven't. Not in a while, at least” she said. Ennard chuckled slightly, and mumbled “Yeah, not in a while. Kinda wish I could get out there again sometime.” Ballora shrugged, before asking “If you could perform, what would you want to do?”

She heard metallic clattering from over where Ennard had been sitting, wincing at the slight grinding sound of his feet moving across the floor, before hearing a loud clunk from right in front of her. “I'm not really sure,” he said, “I think being a mime might be kinda cool. Might be fun to be a gymnast or something, too. Can I ask you a question now?” She nodded, murmuring “Go ahead.”

“Well, I actually have three questions,” he stated, “Can I ask you all of them, or just one?” Ballora tilted her head to the side slightly, mulling it over for a few seconds, before turning her face back towards his and saying “All of them.” “Who's your best friend?” was his first question. “You,” she answered, “but if you meant somebody other than you it would probably be Fiona.” Ennard didn't respond for a second, as if he was confused, before asking “How come I've never seen you walk anywhere?” Ballora immediately responded with “I'm only supposed to use the tracks they've already mapped out for me. They didn't give me enough stability to move around otherwise, so I have to crawl around if I want to go outside of my gallery.”

Ennard's third question was “How come your eyes are always closed?” Ballora stayed silent for a while before saying “I honestly don't know. I can open them when my faceplates are open, though.” She heard Ennard shift slightly, then mumble “That can't be fun... I can't imagine what it would be like if I was blind. It must be hard to figure out where you're going.” She laughed slightly, responding with “Sometimes, but I can usually tell where I am by listening to how many things are beeping. I wish I could see you, though.” Ennard immediately let out a nervous giggle, before forcing out “Believe me, you do _not_ want to know what I look like. I look like a mobile pile of metal spaghetti.”

Ballora sighed and wrapped her arms around Ennard.

“I wouldn't care. You're a great friend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took _three days_ to finish because of my procrastination.
> 
> I'm such a fucking idiot.
> 
> (Also, the chapters for the Toys meet Withereds will be up sometime, but probably not soon because I'm going to ECCC, and they might be held back from the Bendy and the Ink Machine oneshot collection I'm planning on making. Sorry for the inconvenience.)


	8. Freak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phone Dude and the Nightguard go to figure out what exactly they're getting themselves into when they buy the Fazbot they found in the saferoom.  
> Phone Dude loves it.  
> Nightguard? Not so much.
> 
> Turns out the bunny is studying them as much as they're studying it.

“Dude, c'mon, it'll be fine! I just wanna show you what he looks like!” Jack laughed. John just stared apprehensively, shaking slightly. “John, buddy, it's not like he can move or anything. We haven't even done anything with him yet! He's not just gonna stand up and walk off or something.” Jack said, grabbing John's shoulder and yanking him down to eye level. “Seriously bro, chill out. We're just gonna take a look and hope he isn't super-duper broken.” The taller man wasn't shaking as much as he was before, but still looked kind of sick.

“Anyway, d'ya got the key on you? I think I left my set in the car.” John let out a small whining noise, but walked over to the door, unlocked it, and gently pushed it open, jumping back immediately as if he expected a rabid dog to jump out and attack him. Jack gave him a big, cheery smile, shoved the door open as wide as it could go, and ran in to look at the raggedy old bunny inside, John following him at a much slower pace, looking like he was dragging his feet through molasses and making a face that would make even the most emotionally detached person imaginable feel bad for him.

Jack's first impression was the gross, shredded animatronic in the corner, but all John noticed at first was how wet it was and how much it smelled like the compost container when he forgot to empty it. “Bro, look at this! We got one of the freakin' Fazbots!” Jack yelled excitedly, an almost manic grin on his face. “D'you think it still works?” he asked, suddenly sounding almost breathless. John sighed quietly, wondering how he'd gotten himself into this mess, before grumbling “I don't know, why are you asking me? I don't do mechanics and stuff like that, Ты идиот,” before realizing that Jack hadn't even been listening to him and had just been yanking at the bedraggled creature's ears and moving its eyes around with his fingers the whole time. He almost felt bad for the poor bunny. Almost. He was still too freaked out by the whole situation to be sympathetic.

Speaking of the rabbit, it probably had to be the freakiest thing about the room, and that was saying something (though whatever it was saying certainly wasn't a compliment). Its eyes resembled black-and-white bullseyes, one of its ears was half gone, there were things hanging out of the giant holes in its torso that were probably just cables but were highly reminiscent of intestines, and its color could only really be described as “moldy earwax.” _Probably why he likes it so much,_ John thought. Jack had always liked the crappy 80's zombie movies, and this felt pretty similar. He could practically feel his own anticipation and it almost hurt.

“I think we can give 'im a fixer-upper. He'll be back in shape in no time!” Jack shouted suddenly, causing John to slip in one of the puddles on the floor and narrowly avoid falling on his ass. John growled several curses as he pulled himself out of the crabwalking position he'd put himself in to avoid smashing his tailbone on the ground, glaring at Jack, who had just turned around and only then seemed to be processing what his friend was doing, looking like he was about to burst out laughing, but knelt down to take John's hand and help him up anyway.

“Can we go now? It's getting dark out and it's really cold in here,” John griped, brushing dust off of his pants. “Besides, I swear that thing's looking at me. It's really freaking me out.” Jack just gave John another huge grin before grabbing him by the wrist and dragging him out into the open again, letting go as soon as they were outside. John gave his shorter friend a small, tired smile, looked over his shoulder at the rabbit again (it hadn't moved, but looked slightly cross-eyed from Jack fiddling around with its face), and closed the door behind him, locking it.

_**Almost as soon as the door slammed shut, the rabbit's eyes snapped to the doorway as he let out a loud, choked cough.** _

_**Tomorrow was going to be his first day outside of the saferoom.** _

_**And there was no way in hell it was going to be his last.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case it isn't clear (which it probably isn't):  
> Jack= Phone Dude. Loves cheesy things from the 80's and 90's. Really loud and excited most of the time.  
> John= Nightguard. Generally pretty nervous and gets kind of irritable when it comes to uncomfortable situations.  
> Bold/Italic Text Voice= Springtrap. Not Purple Guy, not Spring Bonnie, Springtrap. He is an entirely separate identity from Spring Bonnie and Purple Guy that is the result of Spring Bonnie's programming being corrupted by time.


End file.
